Sunday, June 5, 2011

37 Days

I know I haven't blogged in a while.  I've thought about it, really I have.  I just didn't really know what to say.  I'm 37 days sober, and it feels AMAZING.  I have had temptations for sure. "Just try this sangria - its so good!" "I made this simple syrup, there's only a little vodka in it, just try it."  This from friends who know I'm not drinking. 

Why, then, are they making it so hard?  Because they don't UNDERSTAND.  And really, how could they.  They've seen me go overboard, but think I'm just "fun."  They have no idea how far down the rabbit hole I fell.  So, I don't take it personally.  I just smile, and politely refuse (while digging my nails into the palms of my hands). 

In other news, I now have a huge reason to stay sober.  I'm pregnant.

Whew!

Yeah.  Big news.  I'm almost 6 weeks along.  And after doing some quick calculations, I discovered that I did, in fact, quit before I conceived.  Thank God!  My hubby and I have been trying for about 6 months and were getting worried that something may be up.  (Perhaps the occasional binge drinking is not super condusive to conceiving??).  Anyways, I'm super exicted, and scared, and nervous, and thrilled...

I know that I will stay sober.  For this 9 months...and beyond.  I'm still scared of relapse, but I know how to prevent it-by never taking that first drink.  Never relinquishing my hard won freedom.  Never giving in to well-meaning temptation.  I know that I'm worth fighting for.  Now I have an even more important reason to stay strong.

<3
Hope

2 comments:

  1. I just read your post. Wondering how you are doing. I calculated your babys birth to be around Jan?
    I liked your comment.....You know how to prevent relapse, never take the first drink. Its something I struggle with. But I need to remember one day at a time! Hope all is going great for you!

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  2. Hey just stumbled by here this morning - would love an honest update - come on, where are you at?

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